-1-
I shot him an unfriendly look when he offered his assistance in carrying my backpack. I'm not incapable!
"I'm not a damsel in distress, Choi Minho. I can manage and no thank you," I said and walked ahead of him, a compass and a map in my two hands.
I could hear him catching my steps and a few more seconds; we're walking side by side.
"You didn't get to participate last year. Too bad," he commented.
"Are you trying to start a conversation here? Sorry. Not interested," I rebutted. I don't even want to see his face. What more of a conversation with him?
But he ignored my lectures and continued, "The weather today isn't nice at all. Last year, it was all sunny and you could hear the chirping of the birds and the butterflies roaming around every bush."
I ignored him.
"I didn't even use my umbrella and raincoat that time," he said as he roams his eyes around him.
I ignored him again. Isn't this what he want? He wanted me to stay away from him as much as possible. I already did and I already am. What does he want now?
I kept mum and tried to search for a yellow flag somewhere. I know we're getting near. He did nothing the whole day than to narrate to me the uninteresting story about last year's Summer Camp. It's not like I asked him to tell me about it. I don't even want to remember it!
And now, we're here in the middle of the forest, trying to look for two more flags while here he is, continuing his story I'm not even listening to.
"...reached the river and..."
"What on Earth do you want?!" I screamed at his face. The most irritating part? He didn't even get affected. Instead, he smiled at me.
"I have fever," he said. My eyes shot wide and I tried to clear my throat.
"And so? I don't care," I said and continued walking again.
"I'm just trying to get back the way we used to treat each other before," he said as he looks at me, trying to catch my hasty steps.
"Aren't you the one who told me to stay away? Why are you doing this?!" I demanded exasperatedly.
"I--"
"Stop! I don't need your explanation. You're sick anyway," I said and continued my trail. I looked at the map once again and then back at the surroundings. Where on Earth is that flag?! It's getting darker.
I turned to him while walking backwards. "Don't you dare mention anything about getting back the way we used to treat each other before. You're the reason why it ended. How dare you ask for my friendship after what you said to me? How dare you accused me about taking advantage of you when it di--"
I stepped on something slippery and before I knew it, I was sliding down a steep slope. I screamed in fright. I didn't realize that I grabbed Minho with me. We fell on the ground together after bouncing, hitting and cutting through the thick bushes and sharp stones.
I fell on something hard. My body aches. Where are we?
I roamed my eyes around. It's not in the map. It's getting darker out and my backpack is all wet. I saw it floating in a small pool of water near me. I picked it up and saw all soaked. The extra tent, blanket, flashlight, camera and extra clothes are all soaked and wet. Thankfully I brought canned goods and a medicine kit with me.
Wait.
I feel some heavy pressure in my leg.
Choi Minho?
I tried to shake him to wake him up. "Hey. Wake up! Hey! Choi Minho!" but to no avail.
I pressed two fingers against his wrist to feel for pulse. He's just unconscious.
But his body is so hot.
I saw a bruise on his temple. He must've bumped his head somewhere that's why he's unconscious now.
"Hey... Hey!"
No response.
I took his backpack and looked for something that we may use. To my disappointment, he only brought a bottle of water and a flashlight.
I sighed, disappointed, and shook my head. I will be in-charge now. At least the flashlight is working.
I switched it on and placed it a few feet away from me. Thankfully we landed on a grassy plain. The enemy for tonight is the rain and the cold.
I carefully placed him in a better position. I took the tent and, though its nylon is a little wet, I assembled it and placed out stuffs inside.
I shook my head when I saw Choi Minho. How useless of him. He's the man here, after all. Now, our positions were reciprocated.
Slowly and carefully, I tried to get him inside the tent. It's getting colder out and droplets of rain hit my head. He's heavy, all right.
Panting, I zipped the tent close to shield us from the cold.
He looked so pale and his breathing is uneven. His clothes are a little wet too. And he has a temperature.
Connecting the dots, I carefully removed his soiled coat and wet sweater. But, what am I going to cover him with? He doesn't have extra clothes.
After minutes of pondering, I removed my coat and placed it around him like a blanket. I shivered in the cold and clutched my sweater closer. I reached over to open the canned goods I packed and ate some to aid my growling stomach.
After eating, I urged Minho to drink his medicine. This imbecile. Why did he join the camp if he's sick?
Lucky, lucky me. It's getting colder out and the rain was pouring harder.
I looked at Choi Minho. This idiot. He shoved me off and now I'm taking care of him. What an irony.
He took almost all the space inside the tent, which left me with no choice than to lie down beside him. Hopefully, he will get better.
-2-
I snuggled closer to the comfortable warmth enveloping me. It's been a while since I slept as comfortable as this morning. I don't want to wake up just yet.
But I felt some warm breeze against my forehead. Frowning, I opened my eyes to see what's going on.
I gasped when I saw myself pillowing my head on Minho's bare chest, my arm around him and his arm around my waist.
I tried to get up but he pulled me back again.
"What..."
"Shhh... let's stay like this a little longer," he whispered against my ear.
My mind was blank at the feel of the rise and fall of his chest, the steady beating of his heart, and the way his hand combed through my hair.
What is he doing?
But it felt so comforting.
I closed my eyes.
"I'm sorry for ignoring you. I wanted to talk to you but I was so guilty whenever I remember the time when I shoved you away," he begun as his hand grabbed mine.
"Sorry for everything Krystal. Will you give me another chance?" he said. I looked at him and I saw sincerity in his eyes.
But I'm afraid.
"You want to be my best friend once again?" I inquired. My voice is so soft like it was drowned by the fast beating of my heart.
Without another word, he flipped up until he was on top of me.
My eyes shot wide. "Wha--" I was immediately muted by his lips against mine. I tried to wriggle free from his embrace but my heart and my body doesn't want to break free. He kissed me in a sweet and gentle gesture that his warmth seeped through me once again. His scent lingered around me once again. Our breaths mingled together.
Before I knew it, I closed my eyes and responded to his kiss. I don't have any idea what I'm doing but this was something I've been dreaming for a year back. This kiss was the reason why I confessed to him. This kiss was the reason why our friendship was broken. And now, it's the reason why our friendship will be rebuilt again.
We broke the kiss and he looked at me tenderly. "No. I want to be more than friends," he said bravely.
My eyes widen in response and my mouth gaped open. Am I dreaming?
He chuckled and gave me a peck on the lips.
"I was the one who rescued you when you sprained your ankle last year," he said.
"Thank you for your pity," I remarked.
He shook his head. "It's not pity. I just... I don't know how to handle my feelings for you too. I didn't know that I need you so much until the time you started ignoring me. I felt so lost. Please... I need you back," it sounded like a plea.
He grabbed my hand and placed them on his chest, so that I can feel the rapid beating of his heart. He closed his eyes and I held my breath. "I love you," he said softly and sincerely.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I replied with a peck on his forehead.
He opened his eyes and stared at me lovingly. "Thank you for taking care of me last night. It seems like you're ready to be my wife."
I whacked his chest and he chuckled in response.
It all started with a dream of a kiss and ended with a real kiss. The memories were unraveled and confessions were made. And I know that my life will be so much better with him by my side.
-1-
The summer camp ended in a flash and I didn't get the chance to participate. Apart from I can't, because of my temperature, bruises and sprained ankle, I don't want to. He will be my partner for the rest of the game and I don't want that to happen. I don't want him to have the misconception that I'm taking advantage of his trust; that I'm using the activity to get closer to him. And I can't stay close with him throughout the whole camp knowing what he thought about me. He thought I'm disgusting when I the thought of taking advantage of him didn't even cross my mind for half a moment!
He just moved out of my house last week and I can feel the emptiness consuming me. I miss his company. I miss his sense of humour. I miss his way of pestering me. I miss his protective self. I miss his dumb answers to my trivia. I miss the way I ride at the back of his motorcycle. I miss laughing along with him.
I miss him. Period.
But I cannot demand more of his company. He hates me now.
It hurts and I can feel myself getting weaker. I feel like one of my legs are ripped and I couldn't stand alone. I need him for support. I need him back.
But he kept ignoring me whenever we meet at school. Today is another painful day. Everyday from that day at the camp had been a torture day for me. He's my seatmate and it's hard if your seatmate is ignoring you most especially if he was very close to you back then.
Whenever we meet each other at school, I would look at him, hoping that he would look at me too. Even a simple glance is enough for me but he didn't even look my way as if he doesn't even know me.
At this moment, I'm currently taking stolen glances at him. He's reading a novel. I know it's a romantic novel. He said that I need to read some too.
I smiled at the memory and tried to approach him, "Hey. Could I borrow one of your novels?"
But he ignored me. He didn't reply. He didn't even budge even for a little. He acted like he didn't hear me speaking at all.
I tried once more, "Minho. Could I borrow one of your novels? You know you used to ask me to read them back then?"
No response.
I reluctantly placed a hand on his shoulder and shook him a little. "Hey..."
No reply.
"Hey..."
"What?!" he finally said. It sounded more like a scream but he didn't look at me. His eyes are still on the book.
"Could I borrow one of--"
"Shut up Jung Krystal. Why are you bothering now, huh? Are you still trying to get my attention? Can't you see I'm reading? Have some manners!" He looked at me in a piercing gaze and then back at the book once more.
I was taken a back at his sudden outburst. Yes. I'm trying to get his attention. It's because I miss his company. I miss the way we used to treat each other before. Tears welled up in my eyes before I could control them. He's completely cold towards me.
I'm fed up. I'm trying my best here but he won't even give me a chance. Who does he think he is? I didn't even ask him to love me back! I can't let him treat me this way. No one deserves this kind of treatment! I didn't even want to love him but I do. And I can do nothing about it.
It's not my fault.
If he's living his life well without me and treated me like I don't even exist, fine. I can do so too. I don't need him, anyway. It's his loss; not mine.
I rushed out of the room, almost instantly, when the bell rang. Determination rushed through my system and I felt anger fuel me with new strength.
-2-
I'm a person with dignity and I don't allow any others to step onto my pride. Professor Kang took penance because of her self-declared negligence and let me off. He sent me home and I insisted that Minho should stay in the camp. I don't want to see him or be with him. He hurt me too much. I don't care if he rejected me. I can't take that because I know, though science didn't tell me anything close to what I'm experiencing right now, that I cannot force him to love me against his will. But he accused me about taking advantage of him. That hurt my pride and bruised my ego deeply.
I have every right in the world to hate him for that.
If he doesn't want me in his life, fine. I don't need him either. So what if he moved out of my house last year? I don't care. I can manage. I'm strong enough to take care of myself and settle a patent path for my future.
I sighed exasperatedly. Another Summer Camp! I hate it. The memory came rushing back and I don't want to remember even just a minute portion of it. We will be having the activity at the same camp, at the same place where my life was turned all upside down in a blink of an eye.
I woke up with the sun warming my face. I closed my eyes more and tried to shove away the annoying light. If only Professor Kang is not the one in-charge of the camp, I'm not going to join. That stout and bulky man portrays authority and I hate him for that. I'm just a student, after all.
I grumpily got out of my bed when the clock beamed six. My feet moved automatically and I opened the door of my room, only to find myself standing on the hallway. I frowned. A feeling of nostalgia and déjà vu rushed through me. There won't be anyone in the room next to mine now. I don't have to compute for the remaining time to prepare, I don't have to fluff myself to the cushion; I don't have to shout at the wee hours of the morning only to receive a frustrated groan of a sleepy man. There won't be any Choi Minho in the room next to mine.
Not anymore.
Who am I kidding?! That imbecile didn't even give a damn about me now. He doesn't care, so why do I?
The most frustrating part? He is my partner again for today's Summer Camp. As much as I don't want him to be my partner, I can do nothing about it. That professor Kang's brain has been deprived of Iron, I guess.
Sighing, I went inside and get ready for another torturous misadventure.
-3-
We arrived at the camp but I'm not the one seated next to him on the bus anymore. I insisted. I don't even want to see his face, which is always crumpled in an ungrateful angle whenever we meet.
Unlike the previous year, today is a little cloudy and windier. So much for summer season. I grudgingly put up my tent and settled my belongings inside. After all, this will be my last Summer Camp in this school and with him. At last, I'm in my last year. I'll be able to get away from this school and its haunted memories.
The atmospheric pressure is quite higher than usual. I wonder why Professor Kang scheduled the camp at this kind of weather. It's a little dangerous, in fact.
And unlike what I did last year, I was the one who sleep first over the other forty-nine students out there. I don't want to stay late at night and go crazy again, thinking about nonsense stuffs. What I need now is self-determination and autonomy; not those hideous realizations about irritating ideas.
I was slowly drifting off the slumber when I heard some sounds from the outside. I hurriedly pulled myself in a sitting position and tried to decipher what's happening. A few more noise that sounded like someone is pacing back and forth outside the opening of my tent.
With a racing heartbeat, I slowly and carefully unzipped the zipper until it has a small opening large enough for me to see the outside.
A familiar silhouette of a man came into vision.
I unzipped the tent totally and opened it fully. "What are you doing here?!" I demanded in audible repugnance. The other person stared at me in shock.
"You're disturbing my sleep. Go pace somewhere else!" I said and zipped the tent once more.
I was only half way on the zipper when he stopped me and held my hand. His eyes are not very visible through the darkness of the evening. "Let go, Choi Minho," I said as I shot him a burning gaze. How dare he disturb my sweet sleep? And to approach me? What does he want now?
He shook his head and his bangs followed the direction of his head like a pendulum, "No."
"What?" I can't believe what I heard. He's invading my privacy!
"Not until you hear me out," he said, his hand tightened its hold on mine.
My eyes narrowed and I shrugged his hand with all my might. When I succeeded, I told him, "Don't you dare disturb me again or I will declare to all about your attempted rape," I threatened him. He stepped back for a couple of inches away from me.
"See you tomorrow. After all, you're still my partner. And I'm Miss Unlucky," I said before closing the tent completely and drifted off to sleep. I heard his steps getting farther and farther away.
Glad he got the message.
The long ridges sparkled mightily under the high scorching sun. I never missed to take a shot at every magnificent natural landscapes flashed before me. I drowned my eyes at the sight of the green mountain ranges. They're all breath taking.
I was busily enjoying the serene moment when I felt something heavy dropped on my shoulder. I gasped and jumped a little simultaneously and turned to peak at who it was. Luckily, the camera didn't fall from my grasp. I turned slightly to peak at what happened through the corner of my eyes.
A special kind of scent enveloped me and soothed me from within. What is this feeling? I've never felt this... weird before.
Choi Minho?
Oh. He fell asleep on my shoulders. Great. How am I supposed to take a rest myself? We still have three hours to travel. I grimaced inwardly when he snuggled closer to me. What is this imbecile doing?
As much as I wanted to wake him up, something inside me is defiant. I looked at him once more and noticed how his fallen bangs offered me a blurred vision of his smooth cheeks, the thick frame of his lashes and the soft slant of his nose.
My gaze skimmed over his features, more dazzling and intoxicating than all the scenery I've seen. And what is this giddy feeling? Why is my heart beating faster? Why am I breathing irregularly?
I bit my lower lip and thought deeply. What is this physiologic reaction I'm having? Is it because of his close proximity? Is this really the love people are talking about? I thought that feeling is special. Special in a sense that I don't even know what it's like. I have no experience. But if this feeling is love, then why is it so simple? It's only a feeling of content and happiness.
Nothing more.
I shrugged the thought off. Maybe this is just my allergic reaction to the shrimp-flavoured chip he offered me. Yeah. That should be it. I nodded mentally and looked at him once more.
Why can't I take my eyes off of him? It's like I want to stare at him forever.
Forever? Wait. Where did that statement come from?
My eyes skimmed over his lips. They looked so soft and so kissable. His breathing is so calm and the way the light breeze from the outside dance with the soft strands of his spiky hair looked so inviting.
And his weight against my shoulder isn't overbearing.
In fact, it's quite comfortable...
-2-
I reached out to him. Slowly, I slid my hands and made them rest gently against his cheeks. Using my other hand, I brushed his bangs away to take a good stare at his closed, mesmerizing eyes. Surprisingly, my spectacles aren't as heavy as they were. From there, I shifted my gaze to his nose while tracing the smooth line of his jaw. I closed my eyes and leaned in. I can feel his warm breath fanning my lips as I approach him closer.
Just more... some more. A few more... My lips touched his lightly and I can feel his warmth seep through me. But he woke up. We stared at each other in shock and before I knew it, I could feel the world receding. Noise was everywhere and someone was calling my name.
"Jung Krystal!"
I gasped in air as I stared at the man who has identical features with the persona I was about to kiss just now. It took me a while to realize that it was a dream. Thankfully, it is.
"Hey. Are you okay?" he reached out to brush his thumb against my cheekbones and my lips trembled. Why did I dream about him just now? And I was kissing him!
My hand reached up to rest against my chest, throbbing in an aching manner. I took several deep breaths to compensate with my heart's demand for oxygen as it beats rather faster than usual.
"Krystal, are you okay?" I heard him repeat his question. I just continued staring at him, not knowing how to answer the question. I don't thing my brain can work properly after that dream. I almost kissed him! My best friend!
"We already arrived at the campsite. Sorry if I fell asleep on you. Are you tired? Do you want to rest?" he laid me with several questions. Concern was etched at every dent of his furrowed brow.
After a few moments of internalising, I failed. I tried to get up and managed to squeeze a few words to reassure him. I know that I'm not in the proper state of mind to think about that dream. "I need to rest," I said softly.
Hopefully, my mind will go back to normal after I take a few hours of sleep.
"What happened? Are you hurt? Do you feel sick?" he asked, supporting me as he tried to balance the weight of the backpacks on his shoulders.
I shook my head lightly but I didn't look at him this time, "Just a dream."
He chuckled lightly and said, "Nah. C'mon. Don't tell me you're taking a simple dream so seriously? I know the remedy to that."
I looked at him and waited for the remedy he's talking about. After all, real-life situations are his forte.
He looked back at me and placed an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him, "Food."
I rolled his eyes to him yet again and playfully whacked his chest. He chuckled as he watched me grabbing my trolley and headed out of the bus. I was serious and he tried to make a joke out of it. Oh yeah. He's Choi Minho after all.
Well, at least he was able to lighten the mood.
-3-
"Good evening students. You are fifty in number here so I don't expect you to wander off deep in the forest, okay? Let's work together. This summer camp aimed to develop your teamwork and creativity. But above all, we want you to have fun," Professor Kang announced when she gathered us around the bonfire. We just arrived at the real campsite after two-hours of walking through the forest until the dusk peaks through the dewy leaves.
"Tomorrow, we will start the three-day camp activity. We already assigned your partners and we expect you to stick with one another throughout the whole camp. You may rest for now and secure your belongings. We will start the activities tomorrow."
We nodded in understanding and prepared the tent we're going to use. Minho and I are going to sleep on separate tents. After all, we still have different chromosomes. XY and XX shouldn't be sleeping together if they're not yet married, right? I have to keep my logical mind all geared up to avoid myself from getting lost to his tempting lips like my dream. Thankfully it was just a dream.
When all of them are sleeping snugly on their respective tents that served as their shelter from the cold forest wind, I sneak out of my own tent quietly and laid a blanket on the moist grass.
I laid there, looking at the stars. It's summer so there are no rain clouds. The stars are very visible to human eyes and their twinkles made them look like a precious diamond, though I know that it's actually round in shape.
I know that I have to store my own energy for the activities tomorrow but I can't sleep. I love solitude and tonight is its very definition. The night is silent. So silent. And silence means peace. Or, is it really? After all, my heart is the only noisy one in the middle of the night. Its beating reflects guilt because of my dream. I'm in love with Choi Minho. My best friend.
And I'm guilty as charged.
I sighed.
They said that the forest is safe and free from any wild animals. I can't recall any attacks aired on the news since I was born. I already have my stuffs ready for tomorrow's activity. Those three days will be for treasure hunts. Nothing more.
I unconsciously ran my hands together. Instinctively, I realized that it's getting colder out. A warm piece of clothing was laid on me like a blanket. Shocked as I was, I shot my gaze up, only to meet his smiling face.
"What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" he asked as he sat on the blanket beside me.
The noisy beating of my heart became louder on my ears than it already was. I forced myself to speak, "Nothing."
He frowned, "What happened to you? You're so quiet. You're normally very noisy." He chuckled a bit and I smiled my small smile.
"I'm still human. I possess XX chromosomes and I have the tendency to get sentimental too, you know?" I said, in all honesty.
"C'mon. Tell me what's bothering you," he urged and held my hand. I can feel his warmth envelope me in a calming cocoon. So comfortable.
He's my best friend, after all. Okay then. I trust him.
"I dreamed..."
"You dreamed about?"
I heaved a deep sigh.
"I dreamed about you..."
He looked at me and waited for me to continue.
"I dreamed of me..."
His hand tightened around mine when he noticed my difficulty.
"k-kissing you..."
I held my breath and his gaze remained locked in mine. I waited for his reaction.
"So?" is his simple response.
An eyebrow crooked higher than the other before I could stop them.
He chuckled. "Why are you so affected? Don't tell me you like me," he teased, his lips trimmed in a playful smirk.
A strayed hiccup break free.
Another one before I could stop them.
I don't know what to say. He's making a joke out of it like it's nothing to him at all.
I hope it's in my nature to lie.
When he got no response from me, he let go of my hand. His eyes widen in shock and darken in horror as if it's the most horrible thing on Earth. He slowly withdraw his proximity from me and looked at me in a disbelieving stare.
I felt scared. I don't know what to do.
Beyond my conscious thoughts, I grabbed his retreating hand. "No. Please. I don't know what's wrong with me or when it began. B-but... I don't know how to handle it anymore. I-I'm scared. I can't loose you Minho. P-please. It's not my fault. I tried to stop it. Believe me... I tried!" I said desperately. It sounded more like a plea.
But he shook his head defiantly, his lips stiff in a straight line. "But you let yourself feel something beyond friendship. You betrayed my trust!" he said in my face boldly.
"No!" I shouted almost immediately. "I just thought that you needed to know the truth. I don't know how to handle this feeling. I don't know anything about love. If only... if only I know that it is this painful... I wouldn't--"
"Stop it Jung Krystal! Don't you dare tell me how hurt you are! It's your fault! You broke my trust! Maybe it's the reason why you were so kind to me, right? Maybe it's the reason why you took me under your wing. You wanted me to yourself, don't you? You wanted to take adva—" I slapped him hard on the face.
Anger consumed me, "How dare you accuse me about such things!"
His looked at me sharply, matching my anger with his own, "I don't love you. And I will never love you. You don't even look good enough for me! You with your incredibly irritating spectacles! Stick to your books!"
I had enough.
I ran.
I don't care where my feet will take me. I ran deep in the forest. I don't care what will happen to me there. Logic embedded, heart shattered, mind blank. I don't know what to do. It's so painful. Science didn't tell me that it's painful to love. It didn't tell me that it can give me a bloodless bleeding. And it didn't tell me how to cure it.
Tears cascaded from my eyes to my pale cheeks. It's so cold but the pain I feel in my heart made me feel oblivious about the other stimulus gathered by my other senses.
There's only pain.
Pain alone.
I stumbled upon a protruding root of a huge tree and it blessed me with a sprained ankle and a few bruises here and there. I gasped as pain shot through me. I don't know where I am but I know at that I'm somewhere deep in the forest. I don't know how long I've been running or how many miles I was able to take. Nothing else matters as long as I get away from him - from Choi Minho - and his painful and mocking rejections.
I tried to crawl until I reached the trunk of the tree. I tried to support my back with it as I grabbed my throbbing ankle. The night is getting colder and I don't know if my body can take the gradual drop in temperature. All I'm wearing, aside from my spectacles, is my pink sweater, soiled pants, and sneakers.
At this time, I finally become aware of what happened. He rejected me. He doesn't care about me. He looked at me as if I'm the most tainted and disgusting person on Earth. He maliciously scrutinized my kind actions towards him. And he never bothered to follow me and know about my whereabouts. He didn't even call me back when he saw me running my way to the forest, though he knows how dangerous it is.
But I don't feel scared. In fact, I prefer to be alone in a deep forest with twisted foliage, tall grasses and thick leaves, than to see him looking at me disgustingly or avoiding me as if I'm infected with a serious disease.
The moon peeped its way through the thick forest leaves and reached my cheeks in a pale glow.
What will happen to me now?
My wristwatch read one in the morning. five hours more and they will be waking the students up, do the roll call and find me gone. I'm going to ruin the entire activity because they will be looking for me. I will be the one they're going to hunt instead of the treasures. Professor Kang will nag me endlessly and will send me for detention.
Choi Minho will ignore me.
Or look at me disgustingly.
And my world will crash.
-4-
I felt someone shaking me and hugging me from behind. The scent felt familiar. It's the scent that I've familiarized myself with for a very long time. What is it doing here?
"Krystal? Are you alright? Wake up now, please? I'm so sorry," someone whispered in my ears. An angel's voice.
Am I dead?
But I cannot open my eyes. I feel so weak and so cold. I shivered lightly and snuggled closer to the warmth enveloping me. I don't know what's going on, or who the person is, but comfort and warmth is all I need for now.
Something enveloped me in a comforting warmth and the scent was there. I sniffed it satisfyingly and mumbled his name, "Minho..."
I heard the person affirmed my statement. Maybe it's just my imagination. He's not here. He wouldn't be here. He loathes me. He doesn't want my love for him. He doesn't need me.
Something brushed against my ankle and I winced. I can feel myself being lifted from the ground. I forced myself to peak. It took all my energy to see who the person was.
And a blurry vision of the person who's name is carved deep in my heart flashed before my eyes before I fell into deep oblivion.
The sun hit my tired eyes unforgivably as it peaked through the soft blinds of my curtain, waking me up to start a new day. Days have never been this tiring. I looked at the clock and realized that I only had three hours of sleep. Being a hard-core photojournalist of the University's school paper isn't easy, most especially at moments when the issuance of a new magazine is getting to the deadline.
But still, a part of it is okay. I love photography. It's my life.
Capturing the beauty of life is my hobby. And I never get tire of it. There are lots of beautiful things in this world that meet the eye but only few have the ability to appreciate them. I'm glad I'm of them.
It's six o'clock in the morning. I have to hurry up or I'll be left out. Why do they have to schedule the annual summer tour in such a date? I have lots of papers to accomplish and they're stacked about a foot high on my study table. That stout, bald, shabby man we call our dean really love to make things complicated. Good for him who's always sitting on his swivel chair, doing nothing other than signing papers. And he does have a logical choice. It's either he would sign those paper works after tainting out a large portion of the paper with an incredibly huge "REWRITE" red mark or throw them on to join his canopy of overlapping crumpled papers on the trash basket.
He doesn't have a thing with nerdy girls and guys, that's why I, like the other three in the University, always get the harsh treatment. We're almost faced-out. Our kind, that is. And he doesn't even give tribute to reconsider in order to preserve the nerdy specie of dedicated students.
Wait, I still have to wake up that pea-headed best friend of mine. He's one of my liabilities. Yeah. Liabilities. One of the thousands.
I barged in the room next to mine and fished for the spare key of his room. This is my house so I have keys to every other room. Besides, there are only three rooms in this house. One, occupied by me. Next is occupied by Minho. And the other one? Oh. It's a small guestroom.
Like what I expected, Choi Minho is still sound asleep. He covered his whole body with the comforter and a pillow is above his head. I bet he's already expecting me nagging him to no end. It's like his eyes are all glued that he can't even open them up if his hours of sleep is less than 15 hours.
A heavy sleeper, he is.
"Choi Minho! Wake up now! We only have forty-five minutes to prepare for the trip! Nine minutes and forty-eight seconds to brush your teeth, ten minutes and seventeen seconds to take a bath, six minutes and thirty-two seconds to dress up and that left us with eighteen minutes and thirty three something seconds to rush to school using your motorcycle if you're gonna run it in sixty miles per hour. We still have to minus my approximately five minutes of talking and computing on air here, so that left us with barely thirteen minutes and thirty three something seconds to rush to school using your motorcycle if you're gonna run it in sixty-three miles per hour on a semi-heavy traffic," I narrated while I kept my eyes piercing through the person curled in deep slumber under the cover of the striped black, white and blue comforter.
He doesn't seem perturbed at all! Oh that's it!
One.
Two.
Three!
I fluffed down next to him on the bed, causing the springs to bounce him off the bed. A loud thud created by my forty-nine kilogram figure echoed in the room, followed by a frustrated groan of a grumpy man.
"Jung Krystal!!!"
I laughed mightily and turned to reach the door. Unfortunately, he's faster than my 50 inches per second velocity and caught me by the waist, only to tickle me mercilessly.
I laughed hysterically, not knowing what to do. I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let go. "Hey! S-stop-p it-t!" I begged in between laughs.
"That's what you get for disturbing my sleep. I'm dreaming about my dream girl, do you know that? And you cut it out exactly on the scene when I'm about to kiss her!" he said, tickling me some more.
"S-stop! I-I'm sorry but... b-but we're gonna b-be... l-late!"
He stopped his actions and I was relieved. He asked, "For what?"
I rolled my eyes on him while trying to steady my breathing and said, "For the Annual Summer Tour you dummy!"
"Oh shoot!" his eyes widen as he looked at the clock and scrambled to the bathroom when he finally released me completely.
Yeah. He's always like that. And I'm used to it since he invaded the privacy of my domain two months ago. He got kicked out of the boy's dorm for not paying the bill for three consecutive months. His fault, you know? He bought a motorcycle with the money he's supposed to pay the dorm keeper.
But it's quite advantageous on my part. Apart from having company, I can also have a free lift to school.
-2-
"Good morning people! It's already seven sharp. Please hurry up and load yourselves and your belongings in," Professor Kang announced.
That was a relief. At least we arrived two-minutes before the departure time. I was seated next to Minho. He was kind enough to offer me the seat near the window. He knows that I love sceneries.
But he doesn't know that I love him too.
I don't know when it started but I can't be mistaken. I'm a nerd, yes. I have thick-rimmed spectacles, incredibly bad sense of humour, dark and dull hair. How would someone who's my total opposite fall for me? I don't even have that much charm. People pass by me as if they don't see me at all. They can only see me during examination weeks. Mind you, it's not because they needed a tutor. It's because they needed me to coach them the questions during examinations. Well, I got used to it somehow.
I don't even know how Choi Minho got interested in being friends with me. It's not that I don't like being friends with him, but I'm just curious. I get emotional at times too, you know. After all, I still consider myself human.
"Hey. I want to ask you something," I said as I look at him.
He looked at me and offered me a pillow, "You can ask me anything but not one of those trivia, again. Please."
I laughed at his reaction as I reached for the pink pillow. I hugged it tightly and buried my face in its softness. Well, he had anticipated it wrongly. Yes. I love asking him trivia to make use of the time. He would always make a face when I ask him those. Most of them are general knowledge, though. And we're only high school students so it's useful. Out of the hundreds of trivia I asked him, his right answers are just enough to fill the spaces between my fingers. Don't give me that face. He may be dumb when it comes to class but when it comes to real life, it's my turn to be dumb. And he's my tutor.
I smiled when I recalled the time when he thanked me for answering a question correctly. It was one of the trivia I asked him that happened to be the question he picked during our recitation.
"Don't worry. I don't want to spoil your mood today. After all, we're supposed to enjoy this trip," I assured him as I stare directly on his eyes.
He nodded in affirmation, "Yes. Truly. Now, about the question?"
I nodded in contemplation and thought about how I'm supposed to deliver the thought using the proper words. I have the tendency to get paranoid sometimes, "Do you even wonder how we became friends?"
He looked at me with mouth hanging open. I bet he hadn't expected me to ask such a question. After a while, I heard him laughing out loud.
I frowned in confusion. I never thought that it sounded more like a joke to him. I thought it was a solemn question. A sentimental one. "What is so funny?"
He shook his head helplessly. "Nothing but... what has gotten into you?"
I snorted in his face, "Is it an insult or a compliment?"
"Neither," came his short reply.
"Just answer the question already!" I demanded impatiently. He really have the tendency to annoy me when he doesn't understand me. I don't even know how we became the best of friends. Aside from our obviously huge difference in IQ level, we also have very different views about life. We have different hobbies. We have different interests. We have different goals.
I sighed when he succeeded in stilling his abnormal breathing. "Well, no I don't."
I felt a sudden surge of pain pinched my heart. I froze as I feel the pain radiate and intensify. It's like the feeling when salt is rubbed on your open wound. I frowned. I thought the heart has no pain receptors.
I unconsciously rubbed my chest.
"Why?" I forced myself to ask as I tried to look directly at him. I felt like I'm the only one concerned about our friendship. Come to think of it. He doesn't even care how everything started!
"Because it's not even something needed to be dug in the first place! I'm contented about our friendship, okay? Why bother about the other details?" he told me frankly and boldly.
I don't understand. If something is important to you, you must take time in understanding how and why things happened the way the did so that you will be familiarized with every detail. "I don't get it. You're contented though you don't even know the whole thing in the first place?"
He nodded numbly and unzipped his bag to get some chips. He offered me one but I refused. "No thanks."
"By the way, that's a question that demands an explanation," I added, pertaining to my earlier statement. I know that he forgot about it once again.
He looked at me and said, "Why do you always wonder about the simplest of things?"
I looked at him grimly, "So our friendship is 'simplest' to you?"
He rolled his eyes and I scoffed loudly. "Jung Krystal! I should lend you some novels, you know?! You're too much of the scientific sense! Science can't explain everything," he told me.
I nodded understandingly. "Yeah, I know that. In fact I experienced one just now," I said as I looked outside the window.
"Really? What is it?" he asked nonchalantly.
"With the tone of your voice, it seems like you're not interested. You're just forcing yourself to ask me what it is so that you won't feel sleepy while traveling the five-hour ride up to the campsite, aren't you?"
His eyes immediately shot at me, wide in confusion. "You know, you really have the tendency to over analyze things. Just because I'm not looking at you when I said those words doesn't mean that I'm not interested," he countered.
I adjusted my spectacles, "Don't give me that. Do you remember our lesson two months and three days ago in English? Communication. How would you know if someone is interested in the topic? Of course he or she is looking at you intently."
His mouth twitched in a distorted angle and combed his hand on his messy-styled hair. "I was able to rebutt your views, you know? Tell me how I was able to do it if I wasn't listening all along?"
I raised a brow at him and my spectacles dropped to my nose, "I didn't say you weren't listening. I said you weren't interested. They're two different things, you know?"
He sighed. Defeated. I raised my spectacles again and smiled in triumph.
"Believe whatever you want to believe in. Just tell me what it is," he said.
"Fine. About ten minutes ago, I felt like something pinched my heart. I don't know. I thought the heart has no pain receptors?"
He looked at me intently, "Really? Your heart was hurt? Like it was broken?"
I nodded, contemplating the feeling once again.
"What?"
"It's normal. You're heart-broken."
I frowned. "My heart's broken?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Like you're hurt because someone said something that hurt you."
I frowned again, "What?"
He shrugged his shoulders at me.
"I thought hypothalamus is the one responsible for our emotions. Not our heart. If someone said something that hurt me, shouldn't it be my brain that would hurt?" I asked him innocently.
He rolled his eyes again and looked at me. He opened his mouth to say something but eventually shut it close and shook his head.
I frowned again and looked outside the window. I was missing the scenery! I hurriedly fished for my camera and took several shots.
I just realized that I have feelings for him.
I was oblivious about it at first, I admit.
But when I finally realized that I really do have feelings for him...
Feelings deeper than friendship...
Feelings that may keep me away from him forever...
Should I tell him and make the both of us suffer?
Or should I keep it locked inside my heart and make myself suffer alone?
Starring Choi Minho and Jung Krystal....
Do You Remember?
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